Sometimes…

Sometimes I feel loneliness more than everything… I don’t know why…

Let me tell you a little story… After I graduated school I moved to Cluj-Napoca for university. As you probably know I studied Medical Radiology and Imaging. In Romania that is a 3 years faculty and if you want you can apply for a Master Science Degree program and after to a PhD program or another courses like that. Well I came in Cluj-Napoca, as I said, and I started some kind of a new life, by my own. I mean I had to pay my bills by my own, I had to cook for myself and I had to go to bed early to be able to wake up next day to go to school. Hehe… I think that calls my mom an adult life. Or maybe not?

Back to our story… When I was in my first year of RadSchool I had a lot of classes and so little time for myself. A little break from the story – when I was in high school I did handmade in my free time and I played musical instruments. BTS (this is not that famous singers group, it is Back To Story)… I used to fill my free time with art but there I hadn’t free time… So little by little I started to do nothing in that liiiittle free time I had.

Fast forward to the time after I graduated. After I finished my BSc degree I applied for a MSc program in medical radiology again but it was an easy one. I mean we had I think 4-5 classes/week afternoon and I had time to work in a real hospital, you know? But between these two things I had a lot of time to do… Nothing. What do you think I did? Yup… I slept… A lot. My life was just sleep – eat – go to work – sleep – eat – go to school – eat – sleep. And again. And again. And again.

Present thoughts…

Many of my friends “blamed” me because sometimes I worked in three hospitals in the same time or I had 2 or 3 jobs. Yes… It is not easy… And you can’t even take care of yourself. You can’t eat healthy and you start to have a bad habits, obviously… But I knew myself. I knew if I didn’t do anything in that gaps between things… I’d started to think about things like loneliness. Why I don’t have a relationship?! Good question… I will write another post about this in the future when I’ll get ready for this…

I am in vacation now… And I’m remembering why I don’t use to take breaks from what I do… And why I use to have many jobs in the same time or why I use to do many things in the same time. Because if I have time to do nothing… I have time to think about how lonely I am and after that I have time to be depressed.

I think it is more easily for me to be anytime tired instead of feeling lonely or unloved..

Sometimes I feel sad and lonely… Sometimes…

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About Aki's Land

Radiographer by day, artist by night! 😉

Posted on January 10, 2019, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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